Fresh starts.
Thanks to the calendar, they happen every year, just set your watch to January.
Our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year, bringing on the great tradition of New Year’s resolutions. Put your past behind you and start over.
It’s hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.
But, who get’s to determine when the old ends and the new begins. It’s not a day on a calendar, not a birthday, not a new year. It’s an event. Big or small. Something that changes us. Ideally, it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world.
Letting go of old habits, old memories.
What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning.
But its also important to remember, that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
My Own Tribe
It is an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out... they actually go down. Experts think its becuase people are less likely to "off" themselves around family.
Ironically, that same "family togetherness" is thought to be the reason that depressions rates actually do spike at the holidays.
There's an old proverb that says, "you can't choose your family", you take what fate hands you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not... you cope.
Then there's the school of thought that says the family you are born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, they clothe you, and they take care of you... until you are ready to go out into the world... and find your own tribe.
Happy Holidays.
Sandra, Suey, and I
Roommate Christmas Photo
Africa Mercy 2009
Ironically, that same "family togetherness" is thought to be the reason that depressions rates actually do spike at the holidays.
There's an old proverb that says, "you can't choose your family", you take what fate hands you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not... you cope.
Then there's the school of thought that says the family you are born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, they clothe you, and they take care of you... until you are ready to go out into the world... and find your own tribe.
Happy Holidays.
Sandra, Suey, and I
Roommate Christmas Photo
Africa Mercy 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Numb - Last Day At Sea
A patient’s history is as important as their symptoms. Its what helps us decide if heartburn is a heart attack, if a headache is a tumor.
Sometimes, patients will try to re-write their own history: they will claim that they don’t smoke, or forget to mentions certain drugs… which, to some, can be the kiss of death.
We can ignore it all we want, but our history eventually comes back to haunt us. Some people think that without history: our lives would amount to nothing.
At some point, we all have to choose…
Do we fall back on what we know?
Or, do we step forward to something new?
Its hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us, what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time, so, we have to remember that sometimes, the most important history is the history we are making today.
Physically, I am ready to go home – I have been packed for days!
But emotionally… well… I have a whirlwind of emotions right now. It is so much of a cluster that I can’t even put my thoughts and feelings into words.
The developed world is nearly upon me and so much anticipated, yet it is also a cut so deep that it doesn’t even bleed. It’s a cut so deep that it doesn’t even catch me off guard. So, I guess, one could say that, currently, I’m numb.
Sometimes, patients will try to re-write their own history: they will claim that they don’t smoke, or forget to mentions certain drugs… which, to some, can be the kiss of death.
We can ignore it all we want, but our history eventually comes back to haunt us. Some people think that without history: our lives would amount to nothing.
At some point, we all have to choose…
Do we fall back on what we know?
Or, do we step forward to something new?
Its hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us, what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time, so, we have to remember that sometimes, the most important history is the history we are making today.
Physically, I am ready to go home – I have been packed for days!
But emotionally… well… I have a whirlwind of emotions right now. It is so much of a cluster that I can’t even put my thoughts and feelings into words.
The developed world is nearly upon me and so much anticipated, yet it is also a cut so deep that it doesn’t even bleed. It’s a cut so deep that it doesn’t even catch me off guard. So, I guess, one could say that, currently, I’m numb.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
And.... The Numbers Are In!
Lives were started...
Lives were changed...
Lives were improved...
Lives were touched... including the 400 crew members that work onboard the Africa Mercy. So much time, effort, and dedication went in to the 10 month field service in Benin. Here is what we accomplished...
996 reconstructive and plastic surgeries;
185 cleft lip and palate repairs;
1161 general surgeries;
2 local surgeons trained;
3,521 cataracts removed;
570 other eye surgeries (pterygia and stabismus);
2 local eye surgeons trained;
33,851 eye evaluations and other treatments;
7,083 pairs of sunglasses distributed;
5,689 pairs of reading glasses distributed;
18 community eye field workers trained;
154 obstetric fistulas repaired;
4 local surgeons trained in fistula repair;
231 orthopedic operations;
10,175 dental patients seen;
794 dental hygiene patients;
13,174 oral health education;
25 oral health teachers trained;
2 dental assistants trained;
28 patients received palliative home care;
6 Burkitt's Lymphoma patients received palliative support;
19 families trained in wound care;
10 agricultural staff trained;
23 local agricultural trainees;
1 hostel constructed for agricultural college;
19 mental health workers trained;
119 church & community leaders trained in mental health;
50 prison officers and workers trained in mental health;
2 church leaders conferences attended by 602 attendants;
and 12,000 people watched the Jesus Film and many made a commitment to Christ.
Nearly 80,000 directly reached!
Lives were changed...
Lives were improved...
Lives were touched... including the 400 crew members that work onboard the Africa Mercy. So much time, effort, and dedication went in to the 10 month field service in Benin. Here is what we accomplished...
996 reconstructive and plastic surgeries;
185 cleft lip and palate repairs;
1161 general surgeries;
2 local surgeons trained;
3,521 cataracts removed;
570 other eye surgeries (pterygia and stabismus);
2 local eye surgeons trained;
33,851 eye evaluations and other treatments;
7,083 pairs of sunglasses distributed;
5,689 pairs of reading glasses distributed;
18 community eye field workers trained;
154 obstetric fistulas repaired;
4 local surgeons trained in fistula repair;
231 orthopedic operations;
10,175 dental patients seen;
794 dental hygiene patients;
13,174 oral health education;
25 oral health teachers trained;
2 dental assistants trained;
28 patients received palliative home care;
6 Burkitt's Lymphoma patients received palliative support;
19 families trained in wound care;
10 agricultural staff trained;
23 local agricultural trainees;
1 hostel constructed for agricultural college;
19 mental health workers trained;
119 church & community leaders trained in mental health;
50 prison officers and workers trained in mental health;
2 church leaders conferences attended by 602 attendants;
and 12,000 people watched the Jesus Film and many made a commitment to Christ.
Nearly 80,000 directly reached!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
The O.R.s
For thousands, the 60-second walk down the long hallway which runs through the Africa Mercy has been the final leg in a long quest for physical, emotional, and spiritual restoration. At the hallway's end is a pair of sealed doors which lead to a state-of-the-art operating suite, filled with teams of nurses and surgeons. Every day patients walk through the sealed doors, crossing a threshold of transformation, to receive life-changing free surgery. Over five thousand surgical procedures have already been performed on the Africa Mercy during the 2009 Field Service in Benin. Surgeries performed onboard include orthopedics, maxillofacial, plastics, general, vesico-vaginal fistula repair (VVF), and cataract removal.
The Africa Mercy has six operating theaters, predominately staffed by short-term crew who come from around the world to share their expertise with the forgotten poor. "Everyone stays for a very short period of time. Our entire operating room team consists of 50 people, and only five of us are long-term staff," said Operating Room Supervisor Alison Brieseman. "We bring in people who know what they are doing, so we can have a higher turnover. Short-term people come in, they scrub up, we point them towards a table, and they are fine. If you can work in the OR in one country, you can work in the OR anywhere else. "The Africa Mercy operating suite is a diverse and dynamic environment which Alison Brieseman thoroughly understands. She has served with Mercy Ships for five years. She first worked as an operating room nurse and has held the position of Operating Room Supervisor since the inauguration of the Africa Mercy in June 2007."Somehow it (the OR) work when it really shouldn't. People come from everywhere, and they all know different things. They speak different languages and do things different ways. The staff is constantly changing; everyone is new all the time. You would think there would be a really high stress level and that people disagree about everything. But it's just not like that. It's a fun place to be. It's a real testimony to the grace of God," said Brieseman.
For most of the 2009 Field Service in Benin, the OR has run at full capacity, utilizing all six operating rooms and maximizing the number of patients served. “Recently, I was going over the statistics from this field service. Compared to last year, by week 21, we had doubled the amount of procedures performed. So, many more people have received surgery. It's been a really exciting outreach," said Brieseman. She attributes this increase to better staffing and a more efficient use of resources. A major accomplishment of the OR during this field service has been the successful training of three Benin nurses in operating room procedures. "At the beginning of the year, they were registered nurses but had never worked in the operating room. One of our long-term OR nurses, Glenys Gillingham, has been working with them throughout the field service," said Brieseman. "Now, they all scrub, circulate, and inject anesthetic into the eye. They are now teaching the short-term staff what to do. When new staff comes, the Benin nurses are saying, 'This is what you do,' and 'Come here; I'll show you. It's really great to see. We've never trained local nurses, and it's been one of our coolest achievements."
For many years to come, the OR suite on the Africa Mercy will continue to be a place of healing and transformation for thousands of individuals. As the OR staff continues to grow in statistics and achievements, the focus of their work is still to impact the lives of individuals. Brieseman saw a poignant example of this principle earlier this year. "During our last round of VVF surgeries there was a debate about whether we should perform surgery on the last patient of the day. It was already 4 p.m. and if we did the case, we knew we wouldn't finish until 7 p.m. or 8 p.m. Everyone had just worked the past three days and three nights and was exhausted. As we stood around discussing it, someone just went, 'All right, that's it; we are doing it. I remember standing at the door, watching this patient waddle down through the hallway holding her gown. I saw her back, and it was all wet. We could have ended on time and had our dinner, but she would have stayed wet in her bed. Instead, her life was going to be transformed. There were three or four of us standing there saying, 'I'm really glad we made that decision.
The Africa Mercy has six operating theaters, predominately staffed by short-term crew who come from around the world to share their expertise with the forgotten poor. "Everyone stays for a very short period of time. Our entire operating room team consists of 50 people, and only five of us are long-term staff," said Operating Room Supervisor Alison Brieseman. "We bring in people who know what they are doing, so we can have a higher turnover. Short-term people come in, they scrub up, we point them towards a table, and they are fine. If you can work in the OR in one country, you can work in the OR anywhere else. "The Africa Mercy operating suite is a diverse and dynamic environment which Alison Brieseman thoroughly understands. She has served with Mercy Ships for five years. She first worked as an operating room nurse and has held the position of Operating Room Supervisor since the inauguration of the Africa Mercy in June 2007."Somehow it (the OR) work when it really shouldn't. People come from everywhere, and they all know different things. They speak different languages and do things different ways. The staff is constantly changing; everyone is new all the time. You would think there would be a really high stress level and that people disagree about everything. But it's just not like that. It's a fun place to be. It's a real testimony to the grace of God," said Brieseman.
For most of the 2009 Field Service in Benin, the OR has run at full capacity, utilizing all six operating rooms and maximizing the number of patients served. “Recently, I was going over the statistics from this field service. Compared to last year, by week 21, we had doubled the amount of procedures performed. So, many more people have received surgery. It's been a really exciting outreach," said Brieseman. She attributes this increase to better staffing and a more efficient use of resources. A major accomplishment of the OR during this field service has been the successful training of three Benin nurses in operating room procedures. "At the beginning of the year, they were registered nurses but had never worked in the operating room. One of our long-term OR nurses, Glenys Gillingham, has been working with them throughout the field service," said Brieseman. "Now, they all scrub, circulate, and inject anesthetic into the eye. They are now teaching the short-term staff what to do. When new staff comes, the Benin nurses are saying, 'This is what you do,' and 'Come here; I'll show you. It's really great to see. We've never trained local nurses, and it's been one of our coolest achievements."
For many years to come, the OR suite on the Africa Mercy will continue to be a place of healing and transformation for thousands of individuals. As the OR staff continues to grow in statistics and achievements, the focus of their work is still to impact the lives of individuals. Brieseman saw a poignant example of this principle earlier this year. "During our last round of VVF surgeries there was a debate about whether we should perform surgery on the last patient of the day. It was already 4 p.m. and if we did the case, we knew we wouldn't finish until 7 p.m. or 8 p.m. Everyone had just worked the past three days and three nights and was exhausted. As we stood around discussing it, someone just went, 'All right, that's it; we are doing it. I remember standing at the door, watching this patient waddle down through the hallway holding her gown. I saw her back, and it was all wet. We could have ended on time and had our dinner, but she would have stayed wet in her bed. Instead, her life was going to be transformed. There were three or four of us standing there saying, 'I'm really glad we made that decision.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Betrayal Is Inevitable
As medical professionals, we know everybody’s secrets…
Their medical history…
Their sexual history…
Confidential information that is as essential to a medical professional as a 10 blade, and, every bit as dangerous.
We keep secrets… we have to. But not all secrets can be kept. In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. But when we betray each other… the path to recovery is less clear.
We will do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost.
And then, there are some betrayals that are so deep, so profound, that there is no way to repair what was lost.
When that happens, there is nothing left to do but wait…
Their medical history…
Their sexual history…
Confidential information that is as essential to a medical professional as a 10 blade, and, every bit as dangerous.
We keep secrets… we have to. But not all secrets can be kept. In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. But when we betray each other… the path to recovery is less clear.
We will do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost.
And then, there are some betrayals that are so deep, so profound, that there is no way to repair what was lost.
When that happens, there is nothing left to do but wait…
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Trying Like Hell To Heal
Communication
It’s the first thing we really learn in life.
Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words, and really start talking – the harder it becomes to know what to say, or to ask for what we really need.
Some things we just don’t want to hear.
Some things we say because we just can’t be silent anymore.
Some things are more than what you say, they’re what you do.
Some things you say because there’s no other choice.
And some things… you keep to yourself.
As a medical professional, I am trained to look for disease. Sometimes, the problem is easily detected. Most of the time, you need to go step-by-step: first, probing the surface looking for any sign of trouble – a mole, a lesion, or an unwelcome lump. Most of the time, you can’t tell what’s wrong with somebody just by looking at them… after all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell you a whole other story.
Not all wounds are superficial; most wounds run deeper than we can imagine, you can’t see them with the naked eye.
And then, there are the wounds that take us by surprise.
The trick with any kind of wound or disease is to dig down and find the real source of injury… and once you’ve found it – try like hell to heal that sucker, and say what you need to say.
It’s the first thing we really learn in life.
Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words, and really start talking – the harder it becomes to know what to say, or to ask for what we really need.
Some things we just don’t want to hear.
Some things we say because we just can’t be silent anymore.
Some things are more than what you say, they’re what you do.
Some things you say because there’s no other choice.
And some things… you keep to yourself.
As a medical professional, I am trained to look for disease. Sometimes, the problem is easily detected. Most of the time, you need to go step-by-step: first, probing the surface looking for any sign of trouble – a mole, a lesion, or an unwelcome lump. Most of the time, you can’t tell what’s wrong with somebody just by looking at them… after all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell you a whole other story.
Not all wounds are superficial; most wounds run deeper than we can imagine, you can’t see them with the naked eye.
And then, there are the wounds that take us by surprise.
The trick with any kind of wound or disease is to dig down and find the real source of injury… and once you’ve found it – try like hell to heal that sucker, and say what you need to say.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Blind Spot
Many people don’t know that the human eye has a blind spot in it’s field vision. There is a part of the world that we are literally blind to.
The problem with this is: the blind spot sometimes shields us from things that shouldn't be ignored.
Sometimes, our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny.
When it comes to our blind spots: maybe our brains aren’t compensating… maybe they’re protecting us.
A new blind spot has been revealed to me lately.
At 13h00 my time, the ship needs to do another blackout. This is something you are required to do twice a year by Maritime law... and we have already completed our two this outreach. Problem: every time the big white Jesus ship comes to Benin (the voodoo (Satan) capital) we have "technical" issues upon both arrival and departure. (Its fine if you do not acknowledge that spiritual warfare exist - but, I live IN it... and there is a big spiritual battle happening onboard right now.)
We have to do another blackout (turn everything off) so that we can attempt to fix our problems that have all of sudden arose... things that are checked on weekly basis - will not turn on - example: the radar! There are many issues, apparently, all being ship related (and therefore, I have no idea what people are saying when they talk to me...) that need to be fixed.
Ok, so getting to the point. A scheduled blackout is for 8-12 hours. This blackout is NOT "scheduled"... it has to be done so that maybe we can get the heck out of this country! We will be without power until the problem is solved. This has the possibility to make us go without power AND TOLIETS is 36 hours.
Welcome to my recently discovered blind spot.
The problem with this is: the blind spot sometimes shields us from things that shouldn't be ignored.
Sometimes, our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny.
When it comes to our blind spots: maybe our brains aren’t compensating… maybe they’re protecting us.
A new blind spot has been revealed to me lately.
At 13h00 my time, the ship needs to do another blackout. This is something you are required to do twice a year by Maritime law... and we have already completed our two this outreach. Problem: every time the big white Jesus ship comes to Benin (the voodoo (Satan) capital) we have "technical" issues upon both arrival and departure. (Its fine if you do not acknowledge that spiritual warfare exist - but, I live IN it... and there is a big spiritual battle happening onboard right now.)
We have to do another blackout (turn everything off) so that we can attempt to fix our problems that have all of sudden arose... things that are checked on weekly basis - will not turn on - example: the radar! There are many issues, apparently, all being ship related (and therefore, I have no idea what people are saying when they talk to me...) that need to be fixed.
Ok, so getting to the point. A scheduled blackout is for 8-12 hours. This blackout is NOT "scheduled"... it has to be done so that maybe we can get the heck out of this country! We will be without power until the problem is solved. This has the possibility to make us go without power AND TOLIETS is 36 hours.
Welcome to my recently discovered blind spot.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
"Got On A Plane"
My friend, Nadine, wrote this song awhile back. I feel as though it is requiring me to share it with you all. I believe it entirely holds the understanding of; the departure that takes place for Africa, existing in Africa, and the exit of Africa that happens when one decides to return home.
I will arrive home in 22 days, and until then, 10 days will be spent at sea sailing. Home is within sight… its bittersweet. Emotions are high onboard this large white vessel, yet emotions are unable to be put into words. The people I have grown to love, the people who accept me for me – genuinely… we will all part, heading off into the world in our own directions.
Its been a heck of a 22 month ride with Mercy Ships. As the song states, “life will never be the same.” Enjoy.
"Got On A Plane"
It’s a long way
From me to you
It’s been a long time
Since I saw your face
And I cry
Knowing that I can’t be with you
Please understand,
God told me to take a stand
It’s tough sometimes for me to understand
So please, don’t try to take my hand
Cause I, got on a plane
And flew away
Never knowing that
Life would never be the same
And I, wasn’t running away
On that day
I was just taking a chance
And testing my aim
Now it’s been a long time
Since I said goodbye
Living here
Sometimes I ask why
But I’ll be alright
If you’re on my side
Please understand,
I needed to take a stand
It’s tough sometimes for me to understand
So please, don’t try to take my hand
Cause I, got on a plane
And flew away
Never knowing that
Life would never be the same
And I, wasn’t running away
On that day
I was just taking a chance
And testing my aim
At how far I could go
Even if the world said no
Even if everything was against me
I didn’t know how high I could fly
But I’ve made it so far
I’m on my way home now
And I’ll, get on a plane
And fly away
Knowing full well that
Life will never ever be the same
And I’m, coming home
On my own
I’ve taken a chance
Taken my stance
- Nadine Schroeder
I will arrive home in 22 days, and until then, 10 days will be spent at sea sailing. Home is within sight… its bittersweet. Emotions are high onboard this large white vessel, yet emotions are unable to be put into words. The people I have grown to love, the people who accept me for me – genuinely… we will all part, heading off into the world in our own directions.
Its been a heck of a 22 month ride with Mercy Ships. As the song states, “life will never be the same.” Enjoy.
"Got On A Plane"
It’s a long way
From me to you
It’s been a long time
Since I saw your face
And I cry
Knowing that I can’t be with you
Please understand,
God told me to take a stand
It’s tough sometimes for me to understand
So please, don’t try to take my hand
Cause I, got on a plane
And flew away
Never knowing that
Life would never be the same
And I, wasn’t running away
On that day
I was just taking a chance
And testing my aim
Now it’s been a long time
Since I said goodbye
Living here
Sometimes I ask why
But I’ll be alright
If you’re on my side
Please understand,
I needed to take a stand
It’s tough sometimes for me to understand
So please, don’t try to take my hand
Cause I, got on a plane
And flew away
Never knowing that
Life would never be the same
And I, wasn’t running away
On that day
I was just taking a chance
And testing my aim
At how far I could go
Even if the world said no
Even if everything was against me
I didn’t know how high I could fly
But I’ve made it so far
I’m on my way home now
And I’ll, get on a plane
And fly away
Knowing full well that
Life will never ever be the same
And I’m, coming home
On my own
I’ve taken a chance
Taken my stance
- Nadine Schroeder
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